A Tinker in Thailand

For those of you who haven’t been to Bangkok, a “Tuk Tuk” is a motorcycle with a bench for a back seat and a roof over the whole thing. Riding a tuk tuk is one of many things we would consider unsafe and completely unacceptable in the West, but is an essential part of daily life here in Bangkok. I rode in a Tuk Tuk for the first (two) time(s) tonight; it was everything I expected – hazard a given, haggling a must.

The first ride was a freebie – myself and a Frank, a British classmate, hitched a free ride from Pang Pong to “Spicy,” a very hip night club with a 300b cover charge. Taxi and tuk-tuk drivers somehow get paid to drag people to this club, and others, all over town. The ride was hair raising – weaving in and out of traffic on a bench sans seatbelt, drunk at night in an unknown territory. Treacherous as it may have seemed, we made it to the destination quickly and unharmed.

The night club was nothing special, just the usual loud music, flashy lights and drunken twenty somethings. This one was very different from the last one we went to in that it was populated by about one quarter Westerners by my count. Mostly what that means is more testosterone. I’m not sure what the circumstances were, but Frank got a table shoved into him and forcefully shoved it back. Somehow it didn’t result in any serious confrontation. At this point I figure we should go, Frank thought otherwise, so I was left to find my ow way home.

The first tuk-tuk ride was fun, but the ride home was really a treat. By this time, four AM or so, the streets were more or less empty. The ride between the club and where I stay was also mostly on main thoroughfares, meaning we got to go fast! (Pretend you aren’t reading this Mom…) It’s hard to say how fast these things actually go – slower than the taxis on the road, but much much louder. The thick, hot, humid polluted air almost beats the sterile a/c of a taxi when you’re zipping through the Bangkok streets by tuk tuk. Aside from having to cover my mouth whenever we stopped, and one big bump that almost knocked me out the back, after which the driver checked to be sure he still had a passenger, it was quite a thrill.

Well worth the 100b I paid for the ride. Paying for a tuk tuk is another unique part of the experience. When we went out (four Westerners and two Thai in one taxi) we had our native speakers to negotiate a fare. The taxis are metered, but when you’re piling six people in, the meter goes off. We went from 200 down to 150, a great deal split six ways. On my way out of the night club, the taxi and tuk tuk mafia representative asked where I was going (bai ratchada, soi sip hok) and said “four hundred.” I laughed, “no, one fifty,” he laughed back said okay and ushered me towards a line of tuk tuks.

Knowing that tuk tuks should be much cheaper than taxis, and that there was no real communication between the driver and the broker, I worked up the nerve during the ride to hold firm to paying less than 150b. When we arrived at my destination, I gave the driver a 100b note. “No, no, one FIFTY” he said.

I insisted, “No, he said ONE HUNDRED. Korp-koon krap! (thank you)”

“One fifty, one fifty, I am very poor!”

“No, no, one hundred, I am very poor too! Korp koon krap!”

He grabbed my hand, “Ok, thank you, korp koon krap!”

We had a good two-hand shake and thanked each other repeatedly.